Quick thought.

My heart is full right now and I want to remember it forever. I am feeling ever so grateful right now for my future and the life I have been able to live. On my way home from California last night Jeff and I had 7 hours of just us alone. We were able to talk and not just meaningless chatter but really talk. Talk about the people we wanted to become, talk about the trials we have been through, talk about his mission, our highest spiritual moments that confirmed our beliefs and testimonies. It was in those moments I let the tears flow and smile through them for the Man sitting next to me. My heart filled to the brim and spilled over and over again. I had spent countless times wondering what God had planned for me. Who he was reserving for me and only me. The man who would take me by the hand and walk in the Temple with me to be sealed for time and all eternity. I knew the characteristics I wanted and thought I needed. My sweet Heavenly Father knew far more then I did like always and has poured his blessing upon me with this Sweet Man of mine. He is mine forever and I am never giving him up. He is my better half in ways I never imagined he would be. He is my sweet patient humble man who helps me remember to stop before I react, to think if it really is important to jump to a quick emotion. And when I do he is ever so patient with me helping me see the bigger picture while I complain and then builds me up in to something better and helps me try harder for the next time. He serves me endlessly and gets nothing out of it but pure joy knowing he has made me happy and filled me up. He is everything I want and hope to be one day. He listens to me. I listen to him. In those moments we both feel the love we have radiating from each other. We both look at each and smile. I am thankful and full of gratitude. Ill love you forever Mr. Perkins. Your mine forever and always. Today is a day full of joy.

Aim High

"Girls, Aim high, but do not aim so high that you totally miss the target. What really matters is that he will love you, that he will respect you, that he will honor you, that he will be absolutely true to you, that he will give you the freedom of expression and let you fly in the development of your own talents. He is not going to be perfect, but if he is kind and thoughtful, if he knows how to work and earn a living, if he is honest and full of faith, the chances are you will not go wrong, that you will be immensely happy...True love is not so much a matter of romance as it is a matter of anxious concern for the well-being of one's companion."

GORDON B. HINCKLEY

Dear Old Man..

Dear Old Man...

Who comes into my work often. We have never spoken before yet today you were quite fond of me. Thank you for the candy but I don't know why you would think a man as old and creepy looking as you with tattoos and missing teeth would think I a young 23 year old would be interested in you. It is beyond me. No I don't want you to ask me about my interests and hobbies. No I don't want to give you my number so you can take me on a date. I all of the sudden hate BBQ now. Thank you. No I don't want your number and I will NOT be calling you if I get bored. Silly me to think you wanted a high five after I very bluntly said No I don't want to go out or give my number out when you creepily just wanted to size up my hand. Gross. Please never talk to me again or even look in my direction next time you come in.

Sincerely,

My life should be a Reality TV Show.

Dating Bites...

like a rabid dog.

Vent session is needed. This past week has been a whirlwind of meeting new people specifically 3 guys. To keep everything clear we'll start with the 1st one.

Guy 1

I met "Scott" at a church function a week ago and we hung out the whole night and the next morning. He got my number we went our separate ways until that evening when HE called me and invited me to a FAMILY birthday party. After the party we went and saw a movie with his friend and my friend. Low and behold he says so are you gonna be my cuddle buddy blah blah blah. The cuddling was mild. Basically sitting close and some arm tickling. Whoopi. We end the night with a smile on my face none the less. Then comes Sunday when "Scott" texts me and says things are going too fast and he just wants to be friends. He dtr'ed(define the relationship) me after 2 days. Wow. This past week he has contacted me first each day and we've hung out twice as "friends" BUT the guy has the balls to text me one day and say he needs a cuddle/make out buddy. JERK.

Guy 2

"Kevin" and I have been texting for quite some time and see each other every so often and just recently he asked me out on a date. Noo he didn't call. He texted. Noo he didn't pick me up. He asked me to meet him there. Heart of gold but where is the chivalry? Your quite a bit older and don't understand that aspect yet...hmm?

Guy 3

I got set up with "Dan" on a blind date for today. "Dan" texts me Friday asking me if I want to get a treat the next day. I give him the benefit of the doubt for texting and say yes. Then "Dan" asks me to meet him there. Again give him the benefit of the doubt with the whole blind date thing. Saturday comes and I get a text saying theres a change of plans and I'm welcome to come with him on a family outing or that we can meet later. I chose meet later. Except I may have lied and said my battery on my car died just to get him to be gentlemen to pick me up. "Dan" sets the time for 3 only to show up at 3:30. Does NOT open my door and the date goes on to ice cream and awkward conversation. 45 minutes later he drops me off in the parking lot next to my house cause he wants to go shopping.

Do I have low value tattooed on my forehead or are guys blind?!?

I honestly don't get any of this nonsense. Where are all the chivalrous MEN!? Im so over BOYS. Immature. Jerky. Not competent BOYS. I am so over the dating scene. I am beyond annoyed being treated the way I have been treated. The last time I have been called up, picked up and treated like I was on a date was in MAY!

If you're not being treated with love and respect, check your price tag. Perhaps you have marked yourself down. It's you who tells people what you're worth by what you accept. Get off the clearance rack and get behind the glass where they keep the valuables! Learn to value yourself more! If you don't, no one else will!

I know of my worth and I know I am a great catch! I know these guys are missing out on something great. One day it will all make sense but right now I am over the dating scene. I am over putting myself out there and being friendly just to receive experiences like this.

The question is is it wrong to tell a guy when he texts you that you would like a phone call or is it wrong to tell a guy you deserve to be picked up and not "met"??

Over Dating!

Pennsylvania

This post is LONG overdue. Back in May I went on a trip with my dad and grandma back east. First stop was Pennsylvania. No one really knows this about me but I am a lover of

history, especially the civil war. Back when I was a kid it was a way that my dad and I bonded. We have been planning this trip since I was a little girl and finally made it a reality this past May. Out first stop was Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. Such a cute little town! Side note...had NO clue they had a college there. We spent a couple days there first. The night we got there we walked around downtown which is so quant and felt like a movie set. Buildings would have plaques stating it was historic and the history behind it. Some buildings still had bullet holes from the war in them. The 2nd day we went down to the history center they have, walked around the museum, watched a movie and then had the opportunity to get a guide to drive us around for a few hours to the sites around and give a history report on everything. That night we went on a "ghost" tour through the town...such a bust. Wouldn't ever waste my money ever again on something so lame. With out further adieu I have a major overload of pictures.

(these are in no particular order and after bout 10 pictures of trying to arrange them I stopped so theres less to look through now )

(this is the Pennsylvania monument that our tour guide wouldn't stop so I could get a decent picture. It is the largest monument on the grounds.)

(This is a statue/monument of Robert E. Lee who was the Confederate leader/general. He is my many greats grandpas cousin)

(Replica cannons of what the soldiers would of used)

(The union soldiers uniforms)

(in downtown Gettysburg, there were plaques everywhere)

(this is at top of one of the big battles. The north was sure they were going to loose with the low numbers they had but end up winning and had a prime spot)

(the houses were so amazing! I loved everything about them)

(One of the many statues we have pictures in front of...don't remember the significance of this one...oops)

(In the museum..the Confederate soldiers uniforms)

next stop Antietam....

Sorry

I won’t apologize for being a little less than happy for once because I’ve learned not to apologize for my emotions over the years, but it is a bummer that it’s consumed me this much.

Food for Thought

I am a thinker. I am constantly thinking of how to better myself, what needs to be done, lists upon lists, dreams, fears....everything. As I was texting my sister tonight I thought id share my most recent thoughts with her and I wanted to write them down for myself to remember. A lot of my life I have been afraid to be who I am and accept who I am. I didn't realize the strength and determination I had in myself until these past few years. I was telling my sister about a weakness of mine that I have overcome. For a long time when I dated I hid who I liked or was wishy washy because I was afraid of being judged. I've learned from that weakness by letting someone in and how amazing it feels to accept that part of my life. I've learned from dating who I am and who I want to be. This is exactly what I said to my sister...

"The more I am alone the more I accept myself and don't sway on my standards. Im learning each day to be comfortable in my own skin and not be wrapped up in who I think I should be or how to meet unrealistic expectations. I am me. People love me for me so why shouldn't I"

I am not perfect and don't always think this way but it is moments like this that I know what love is. I find my own beauty and relish in it just for a moment. For those hard days I know I will come upon remember how blessed your are and beautiful.