Today is a hard day

Today I deal with heart break. Today I wonder what I could of done better and why I wasn't what he wanted anymore. Today I look back on pictures and cry a little here and there. Today I wonder why he couldn't or wouldn't communicate with me until it was too late. Today I wonder when ill have that love again and how much more my patience will be tested. Today I miss my Best Friend and cry over the loss of what could of been. Today I turn to the Lord and pray with all my might that this pain will go away.
Today I look to the Heaven's and count my blessings to get me through the day.

New year New me

Ive made it to 2010 in one piece surprisingly. 2009 has defiantly been a crazy ride for me and I am entering 2010 as a whole new person. I am starting 2010 single and can do for me 24/7. The lord defiantly has a plan for me and so do I. For 2010 I am going to be Fearless. Im going to test the my limits and put my fears to rest. This is the year to reinvent myself and start fresh.

2010 Fearless List:

1. Go back to school. Ive always wanted to go to school but was always too scared id be wasting my money or wouldn't do good.

2. I want to eat healthy. Everyone has this goal and I am not afraid of this but I want to eat healthy to take care of my body and exercise to keep me strong.

3. I want to go to Africa. Ive always wanted to do this for the longest time. I want to go volunteer in an orphanage or teach English or just be of help to the people.

4.Date fearlessly. Its time I broaden my horizons while staying true to myself.

5. Go skydiving. I have major fear of heights and especially ones that involve possibly dying. I may or may not accomplish this goal but this year I am going to face my fear of heights. Im not going to play it safe this year.

6. Travel. I am going to take this opportunity to not think about doing what others want but what I want and I want to travel to many places.

This list will continue to grow and each time I accomplish one I will cross it off. This is my year and im going to make it the best!

Dreaming

"Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world."

I have so many dreams and they all change from time to time but a few have stuck. I am dreaming lately 24/7 of these and I so badly want them to come true but they seem so far out of reach and then my dreams fade into reality and the Lord reminds me in "due time" my dreams will come true. I want so badly to be married in Mesa, Arizona Temple for time and all eternity to the love of my life. I want to have a temple marriage and a loving husband and home. I want the eternal package and my patience is running thin on this and I know in due time my dream will come true.
I want to travel the world and especially to this beautiful place. My dream has always been to be in Italy one day. I want to see the beauty it graces us and have it fill me up with so much joy and contentment that it spills over. I want so badly to fulfill this life long dream of learning more of art and history two of my favorite things.

Another thing I want badly is a farm/ranch. Many don't know that about me but I love everything that a farm/ranch represents. I love the feel of having animals and land surrounding me. To have a humble home with peace and love and I feel I will find that no matter what but my dream is to have my farm/ranch one day my very own.

Lastly I want to serve till the day I die. I have had the opportunity to serve my Grandma lately and I can feel my spirits already uplifted and my burdens lightened by doing so. I love serving others with all my heart. I can not express the joy it brings me and the peace.


"There is nothing like a dream to create the future."

........Someday my dreams won't be so out of reach........

Happy Happy Birthday!!!

It is my sweet sisties 25th Birthday today!! I am so blessed to have her as a sister! She is amazing in every way! She is the funnest, kindest, caring woman I have ever met. I can truly say I would not be the woman I am today without her!

She is a loving wife and mother and is always think of others first before herself. She is completely selfless and is always trying her hardest to make sure everyone has what they need first.

She is such a blessing to our family and we love her to death!! Happy Birthday Sommie! You deserve to be pampered and treated like a queen today..I love you to the care bears and back!!!

Happy Turkey Day!!

This Turkey Day has been so great! I am more thankful then ever for my family and the city I grew up in. Its great to be home and enjoy being with family and friends and NO SNOW!
I am so very thankful for...

My family-Their love and support in everything I do. They are always there for me 100 percent and never seize to amaze me with the undying love and patience. Everyone says how their family is the best and perfect but mine is just perfect for ME. I have been blessed with amazing parents and sisters who are loyal to the end.

Friends-I have some pretty great friends! Growing up I would always pray for a good group of friends and I believe the Lord has given me exactly that. They show me each day what it means to be a good friend.

Mesa, Arizona-I was so blessed to live in such a amazing place. Being away for the past year has made me appreciate it more. It has a strong LDS community where ive felt so much love. I love the amazing sunsets and the great winter weather along with the opportunity to have a temple so close that allows me to be on the grounds daily.

Nathan-I am thankful for all that he has taught me about love and life. I would not be who I am today without knowing him and learning from him.

The gospel-The restoration of the church has been such a blessing in my life and I am so thankful for it and for how it has shaped my life. I am truly blessed and it is all because of the Lord and his infinite love for me.

I hope you all have a safe and happy Turkey Day. And I hope we can all remember to Give Thanks!!

The many Blessings in my life

Last night I was talking with my sister Alyssa about life and the many challenges in it. Ive been a little bummed lately with no job and stressing over paying for things and a wedding. When we were talking she was so calm and patient and happy. I noticed how extremely happy she was and I asked her whats helping and she said prayer. She was saying how at peace shes at when shes praying and having a relationship with her Heavenly Father. How she is so much less selfish by praying and she is so thankful for more things. The more talking we did the more thankful I became for things....

I have the most amazing parents ever! Their so selfless and always trying to do and give the best to us. My mom has taught me to be a independent strong young woman and to never settle for less than I deserve. My dad has taught me always forgive others. He has taught me diligence and hard work through his own example and has made me want that in my eternal companion.

Sommer and Byron are also another blessing in my life. Sommer is so amazing! She is prolly the kindest unselfish person I know. She is always looking for the best in others and I seriously never hear her talk about anyone badly. Her husband Byron is also so great. He is such a great dad and husband and always has my best interest at heart.

Then theres Brianna and Brian. Brianna is such a inspiration to everybody. She never realizes the impact she is in everyones life. Just with a smile or hug she makes things better. She is always willing to help others no matter what and never asks for anything in return. Brian is also up there with her being a inspiration to people and not knowing it. He is the funniest happiest guy I know who is always looking on the bright side.

This is "Luce" as I call her. We are the closest in age and seem to fight the most. But we also have such a great relationship. We are very protective of eachother and stick to eachother like glue. She has the best spirit about her. Some may not know that but she is one of the kindest loving people I know. Whenever I need her for anything she is always there for me 100 %

I have the best family a girl could ask for. I wouldnt Trade them for anything and love everything about them. I am so thankful for little texts and conversations I get to have with them and the examples they are to me!

My little home...

Mine and Julies room....My bed is on the right

I love love love shabby chic

The dresser..movies...and my headbands

We both had a S and J

Our bathroom...so nice not having to share with 5 girls this year

Our walk in closet!!

My decor :)

Julies and my style is soo different. She loves the Beatles and so went with that theme and I love shabby chic so we are defiantly complete opposites but LOVE rooming with her! We have the funnest times and get along great!! Life in good ol Utah is good so far. I miss my family ALOT and not really looking forward to the snow but life goes on and having Julie and Nate helps alot :)