Dream Big

I recently read a blog about dreaming big and going after your dreams. The post was extremely inspiring to me and just what I needed to hear. I have been stuck in a rut for a while with my job. It has become a pay check, a go through the motions type of job. Ive completely checked my self out emotionally with my job. For a while I have been thinking of what is it I can do that will change my circumstances. Should I go back into this profession or go to another trade school and put off my degree a little bit longer. Anything was looking good at this point. Anything is still looking better. That same day co worker and I got called in for a chat with the Vice President. I definitely left with a motivation that something has got to change and change now. I went home and sent out resumes and applications and sent requests to people to be an intern free of charge just to get the experience. By the end of the next day I had a call and a plan with a friend to be here assistant/second shooter at a wedding on Saturday. She told me profusely how I was an answer to her prayers and she was mine.

 I have always loved photography since I was a little girl, but that little girl always thought dreaming big was too big of a risk. Failing was not pretty especially with low self esteem. I attended one workshop as a child and went back into my shell. As I got older and in more recent years I have taken a couple more workshops and took a class at school. Self taught myself a lot of things and practiced trial and error, but still the fear of failing clung in the air for me. Having self demons is not a fun thing to deal with when they are there telling you that failure is right around the corner. That someone isn't going to like your work or you and with that dislike, will let people know. My fear is people speaking badly of me. Badly of my character. This fear has held me back from numerous opportunities and experiences. I am not a expert of stepping outside of my shell. It is my protection from the world, but I know I need something more. My Heavenly Father expects more. I have been praying for a long time for a change a new opportunity expecting it to fall into my lap. Only when I made the effort did this change fall into place.

Today I found another blog that spoke of doing what you love. All the hard work and craziness she encounters is from her love of what she does. I don't know where this opportunity will take me but I love doing it. I always go back to photography and have the desire to try and try again. I love doing it. I love the feeling of new ideas and locations and poses. It fills me up in a way other things can not. I still am fearful, but my love and desire of doing something more and being something more is stronger.