I was sent a text message from my sister the other day about an invite she got on Facebook about wearing pants on sunday as an act of equality for women. I was saddened immediately that these women felt that they weren't equal to men. Since then I have been thinking about it a lot and here are my thoughts.
I read cjanes blog a lot and she posted her thoughts on it that i highly suggest reading. She also mentioned how she read feministmormonhousewives and mormonchildbride. I decided to read up on them both see what their opinions were on this feminist movement. It made my stomach churn quite a bit and at the same time there were points that I thought hey I get that! I know how that feels. I started talking to my mom about it and she directed me to this blog benseyleb. Her name is Lynsey and her words more then anyone words spoke to me. It was as if she was in my mind, my heart. I wish I was as eloquent as she was with words.
I have felt lonely, worthless, crappy. I have felt that no one wanted to be my friend that my Heavenly Father loved me less then others. That my pain was just a glance in his eyes and that I wasn't going to get my prayers answered or ever find happiness. I have spent days in Young Women's dreading going to classes and activities because I was so tired of crafting, cooking, learning to quilt and lead music. I was envious of the boys who went to wing night or to the lake. Why couldn't we do that? At the end of the day those times taught me talents that I may never have gotten. At home I was taught how to change the oil in the car, change the spark plugs and change a tire on a car. I wasn't left in the dust and I was taught to be self sufficient.
At one end of the spectrum I can understand some points of the feminism to a certain extent, but one thing that I do not understand is their need for the Priesthood. Maybe one day I will understand it maybe one day I won't. I feel personally these women are seeking someone to tell them they are worth it. They are divine creatures who were placed here and as women for a reason and for a purpose. While reading different articles I felt saddened that they felt that by having
-the priesthood
-serving 2 year missions
-not being mothers
-working outside the home
would give them the peace and strength they would need. Like Lynsey said maybe I am way off on their points of view. Maybe im not grasping something they are. I do know though that when satan came knocking he was knocking my self worth. He was telling me I needed this to be equal and worth while. This was my experience. It did not matter how many times I was told you have this amazing talent, you are beautiful, I see such a strong individual it was never enough because I self sabotaged myself. I believed the lies that I placed in my head and that grew stronger when I let satan stir them more. I had to learn for myself that I had worth. It took time and effort to humble myself and seek Gods love when I had turned away from it many times. I in turn learned to love myself and saw myself in the mirror as a women with worth.
One thing that I have taken away from this wear pants action is that if there is ever a women needing my love and care you will receive it. My heart aches for those who have had the burden of feeling worthless or have felt shunned my men in the LDS church, have felt shunned and talked about by women of LDS church. I will never judge you. I will be the friend you need and out of all this controversy that is what I have taken.
